Sorry

Found an old song among his discs by S Club 7. “Have You Ever”. Yea, that’s ought to be a lifetime ago. But it’s not bad really.

“Sometimes it’s just wrong to walk away…” Suddenly he was reminded again. It’s different somehow. After everything. A few weeks ago, looking back, he realised how wrong he really was. It’s not that he didn’t know he was wrong but he chose not to admit it. And gosh, admitting mistakes, even to yourself, is really tough.

After that realisation, he was determined to apologise with the full knowledge of what he has done wrong. Something like the list in “My Name Is Earl”. So the first apology went straight to his parents. Didn’t really solve everything right away but it’s a start really. So began a long period of “feel-good”-ness. (He’s still feeling good even after the dreadful paper on wednesday – he just needed a run to clear it off his head.)

It doesn’t end there; there are still people he needs to apologise to. And he’s gonna do it after his last paper next friday. Even though the timings for these apologies are way off, he hopes, at the very least, that he ends them by doing something right for a change.

Have You Ever – S Club 7

Sometimes it’s wrong to walk away
Though you think it’s over
Knowing there’s so much more to say
Suddenly the moment’s gone
And all your dreams are upside down
And you just wanna change the way the world goes round

Tell me
Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wish there was a chance to say I’m sorry
Can’t you see?
That’s the way I feel about you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin’ down the road you should be taking
I should know
‘Cause I loved and lost the day
I let you go

Can’t help but think that this is wrong
We should be together
Back in your arms where I belong
Now I finally realize, it was forever that I’d found
I’d give it all to change the way the world goes round

Tell me
Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wish there was a chance to say I’m sorry
Can’t you see?
That’s the way I feel about you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin’ down the road you should be taking
I should know (I should know)
‘Cause I loved and lost the day
I let you go

I really wanna hear you say
That you know just how it feels
To have it all and let it slip away
Can’t you see?
Even though the moment’s gone
I’m still holding on somehow
Wishing I could change the way the world goes round

Tell me
Have you ever loved and lost somebody
Wish there was a chance to say I’m sorry (I’m sorry)
Can’t you see?
That’s the way I feel about you and me, baby
Have you ever felt your heart was breaking
Lookin’ down the road you should be taking I should know (I should know)
‘Cause I loved and lost the day I let…
Yes, I loved and lost the day I let…
Yes, I loved and lost the day I let you go

Wise Words

Wisdom from Oriah Mountain Dreamer, an Indian Elder:

It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.

It doesn’t interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain! I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn’t interest me if the story you’re telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul. I want to know if you can be faithful and therefore be trustworthy. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day, and if can source your life from God’s presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still stand on the edge of a lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”

It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised the bone, and do what needs to be done for the children.

It doesn’t interest me who you are, how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

notes:
He found this piece of wisdom hanging around in his computer while he was doing some data cleanup. How long has it been? Three, four years since he had found it? Doesn’t mean that he has been able to absorb and follow them though! Looks like a checklist, doesn’t it? Hmm…